By Sharie Reyes Albers, Partner, Virginia Family Law Center
Dating during separation is one of the most misunderstood issues in Virginia family law. Dating itself is not illegal, but it can create serious complications in a divorce case. Virginia continues to recognize adultery as a fault ground under Virginia Code § 20-91, and sexual activity with a new partner before the divorce is final can be used to support an adultery allegation. Even when the conduct occurs after separation, the claim can still affect strategy, settlement, and credibility in court.
For a complete explanation of how separation works and how the timeline is calculated, read our Guide to Separation in Virginia.
Is Dating During Separation Legal?
Yes. You may date while separated, but the legal and practical risks depend on how the dating relationship affects the case. Fault still matters in Virginia, and adultery can influence whether a spouse receives or is barred from spousal support under Virginia Code § 20-107.1. To understand how support is calculated, see our Virginia Spousal Support Guide.
A party accused of adultery may face closer scrutiny, reduced negotiation leverage, and a more adversarial posture from the opposing side. Allegations of adultery can also slow the case because they require additional discovery and testimony.
Could Dating Affect Custody?
Courts evaluate dating through the lens of the child’s best interests as outlined in Virginia Code § 20-124.3. For a deeper overview of how custody is determined, read our Guide to Custody in Virginia.
A new relationship may raise concerns if it disrupts the child’s routines, creates instability in the home, or introduces conflict between the parents. Courts look closely at whether the new partner influences parenting decisions, affects the child’s emotional well-being, or contributes to tension during exchanges or communication. Even responsible parents may weaken their position if the new relationship creates avoidable conflict.
How Dating Affects Settlement
New relationships often intensify emotions during separation. Communication tends to decline, cooperation becomes more difficult, and the overall case can take longer to resolve. Cases involving dating often require more discovery, more contested hearings, and greater attorney involvement. Dating does not prevent settlement, but it frequently reduces the likelihood of a quick or amicable resolution. For an overview of how fault and no-fault grounds affect the overall divorce process, see our Guide to Divorce in Virginia.
How to Reduce the Risks of Dating During Separation
Parents should avoid introducing a new partner to children too early or allowing overnight visitors when the children are present. Consistency and routine remain important, and social media activity should be managed carefully to avoid misunderstandings. Parties should be prepared for the possibility that dating will be used as a negotiation point or as leverage in settlement discussions.
Speaking with an attorney before beginning to date helps ensure that the timing and circumstances do not unintentionally harm the case. If you are still living with your spouse, review our guide on Separation Under the Same Roof in Virginia to understand how courts evaluate separation in shared homes.
How Virginia Family Law Center Helps
We regularly advise clients on how dating may affect custody, support, property division, and the overall trajectory of the divorce. Our attorneys help clients navigate these issues carefully so they can make informed decisions that protect their case and their family. If you would like guidance about how dating may affect your separation or divorce, call 703.865.5839 or request a Free Case Review.
About the Author
Sharie Reyes Albers is a Partner at Virginia Family Law Center and has represented clients across Northern Virginia in separation and divorce matters for more than a decade.
